The Situation
by LozieDeanon
Summary: Kaede disapproves of the way Barnaby makes her dad limp when she's not home, so with the help of some action figures, she makes a case for Barnaby to change things up. Barnaby/Kotetsu, A deanon from the Tiger and Bunny Anon Meme.


A fill from the Tiger and Bunny Anon Meme. Prompt: _Kaede is mad about her father's relationship with Barnaby, not because they're gay, but because she doesn't approve of her father being the submissive partner._

Warning: Sexual themes.

* * *

Barnaby looks up from his newspaper when he hears bits of plastic rattle across the kitchen table. Setting aside the paper, he glances down at the two action figures Kaede has dumped before him: a green Wild Tiger and a pink Barnaby Brooks Jr, carelessly thrown down in a tangle of armored limbs. The harsh treatment of two of her favorite toys surprises Barnaby, and he reaches out to straighten out the miniature heroes.

"Don't touch them," Kaede orders, and Barnaby withdraws his fingers. Kaede usually only gives this stern treatment to Kotetsu after he idiotically insists she participate in an activity meant for children half her age. What has Barnaby done to incur her pubescent wrath?

"Can I help you with something, Kaede?" Barnaby asks.

"I know you and my dad have sex," Kaede says flatly.

Barnaby struggles not to choke. Granted, Kaede is of the age where schools are starting their sex-ed programs, and she's probably seen it all on the Internet anyway, but the shock still knocked the air out of his lungs. So Barnaby composes himself as best he can and says, "We did make an effort to hide our sexual relationship from you, and we apologize for—"

"If you had made an effort to hide it, my dad shouldn't be limping!" Kaede cut him off.

Unbidden, mental images of how Kotetsu came to acquire that limp—the heat of his body, the sound of his voice, the sight of his face—fills Barnaby's head, but he just smiles. "What does a limp have to do with... anything?"

"I know you guys _do it_ when I have sleepovers with my friends," Kaede explains. "When my dad dropped me off at Tyler's house, he wasn't limping, and when he came to pick me up, he had a limp!"

"In which leg?"

"In both legs!" Kaede huffs, her cheeks flushing a little. "I even tested him by dropping my toothbrush, and it took him three tries to bend down to pick it up!"

"So why do you think the limp is my fault?"

Kaede reaches down and begins twisting the action figures until the Wild Tiger is flat on on its back, legs and arms spread submissively, and the Barnaby Brooks Jr leans above him. Kaede thrusts the pink action figure's hips the tiniest bit forward until its crotch meets the Wild Tiger's bottom, and then leaves them.

"That's what you're doing to my dad," Kaede says, pointing at her model. "And I want you to cut it out."

Barnaby gapes at the lewd figurines, unable to decide where to begin in the _wrongness_ of this situation. "I… I don't…"

"You do!" Kaede cuts him off. "This is what you're doing to my dad, and I want you to stop!"

The juxtaposition of the Wild Tiger suit's frozen mask and Barnaby's memory of Kotetsu's much more 'expressive' face short-circuits _something_ in Barnaby's brain. "I'm sorry," he says automatically, staring at Kaede's action figures. "What… What is it you want us to do?"

Kaede bites her lower lip and rearranges the action figures until the Barnaby Brooks Jr is on its hands and knees, with Wild Tiger kneeling behind it. She takes a second to ensure their hips are properly aligned.

"This," she says. "This would be better."

_How does she know all these positions? Where could she _possibly_ have learned all this?_ Barnaby's eye twitches behind his glasses as his shock at Kaede's sexual maturity grows. "Ah… Why? Why would what your father and I do... alone... matter to you?"

"My dad's old, and sometimes he gets weird and feels bad about himself. He probably feels really weak or like a girl when you do this... stuff to him. And I know you're strong enough you won't have a limp if he does it to you."

"It's not a matter of strength," Barnaby says. "Well, in a way it is—but no, it isn't!" Barnaby takes the action figures and adjusts them once again, so that Wild Tiger is in Barnaby Brooks Jr's arms. He can't quite position them so they'll stand on their own, but he displays them for Kaede in his hands. "See, this is the reason your father usually... limps. He's a princess."

"That's not him being a princess. That's him doing something stupid and then you bailing him out."

"But the situation you were, um, explaining, is an extension of these carries! The roles of the princess carry extend to the bedroom!"

"How?" Kaede folds her arms indignantly. "How do you explain getting to do my dad because you carried him?"

"Uh…" How to turn a princess carry into sexual intercourse? Barnaby looks to the action figures for help, and then sets them down on the table so that the Barnaby Brooks Jr figure is sitting with Wild Tiger across its lap. With one more flip of the green plastic leg, he ends up with Barnaby Brooks Jr leaning back on its arms as Wild Tiger sits on his hips, like a lap dance. "Like that."

Kaede frowns at the display. "But you're still making my dad limp. It hurts him. I can't let you keep having sex with my dad if you hurt him."

"I promise you, the last thing I want to do is hurt your father, but in these... actions... a little pain is unavoidable."

"So why do you make my Dad take it?"

Barnaby's cheeks are hot. "If he didn't consent, I wouldn't do anything. You know that. But I—I have reasons to believe he enjoys it."

Kaede manipulates the action figures again, until the Barnaby Brooks Jr is flat on its back with its legs spread wide and in the air. Its knees rest in the crook of Wild Tiger's elbows, and Kaede pushes Wild Tiger's hips forward to meet Barnaby Brooks Jr's butt.

"If he enjoys it so much, why won't you do it?" Kaede asks.

He stares at the figurines, trying decide if he should give a half-baked excuse, use a conversation staller, or somehow change the subject... But suddenly his brain won't comply, because Kaede's unanswerable question combined with her miniature models fills his mind with thoughts about Kotetsu, staring at him with predatory need, shadowed by the lowlight of the bedroom, pinning his wrists to the sheets and whispering in his ear as he leaned down close, "_I want to hear you scream, Bunny. Scream for me._"

"I…" he mumbles, reality and fantasy blurring. "Kotetsu…"

Is switching roles really as bad as Barnaby fears? If Kotetsu really likes it as much as Barnaby claims, why wouldn't he at least try it? And Kaede's concern for her father's health is certainly legitimate. It helps that Barnaby never really thought of Kotetsu dominating him before, and now that he is, he wants to try. He _desperately_ wants to try. He wants to feel Kotetsu's beard on his thighs, and his hands holding him tight, almost restraining him, and Kotetsu's—

"I'm home!"

Kaede and Barnaby instantly grab at the perverted action figures, paying little attention to who caught which, causing them to both go for the Wild Tiger, tugging it between them as the Barnaby Brooks Jr remains below and lonely, awaiting the return of its plastic partner.

A brown bag of groceries perched on one hip, Kotetsu walks slowly into the room, hindered by the very limp Kaede had been complaining about. "Huh? Were you two playing while I was gone?"

"Y-Yeah! That's it!" Kaede decides quickly. "But—Barnaby won't share!"

"My mistake," Barnaby lets go of the Wild Tiger, and realizes the Barnaby Brooks Jr looks less than innocent. He hastily snatches up the figurine and straightens him out to a normal standing position.

"Aw, play nice, Bunny," Kotetsu teases. "Or you can help be bring in the groceries."

At Kaede's glare, Barnaby beat a hasty retreat from the kitchen table, discarding the newspaper and action figure and avoiding Kotetsu's eyes. Kotetsu watches him go, a little confused.

"What's up with him?" Kotetsu asks.

"Don't worry about it," Kaede says dismissively, collecting her toys. "I fixed everything."

"But… What broke?" Kotetsu wonders aloud, setting down his bag. But Kaede just shook her head and went back upstairs.

Two weeks later, Kaede's fears are put to rest when, after another night at another friend's house, Kotetsu picks her up the next morning with a normal stride and a goofy grin, and Barnaby is suddenly adverse to doing much standing or walking. With a secret glance at Barnaby—who blushed and looked away—Kaede knows that the situation has been resolved.


End file.
